Why I Can't be on The Bachelor

I abhor the ABC show The Bachelor.  Yet, there I am, every Monday night, watching it.  Sigh.  No matter what I think, one thing is for sure: I could never be on it!  Here are the top five reasons why.

Top Five Reasons Why I Could Never be on The Bachelor

5. I have no desire to do the following things on television: kiss, get dumped, air emotional baggage, act crazy, cry or wear a bathing suit in the obligatory hot tub.

4. The words “group” and “date” should not go together.  (Seriously, it comes up in spell check.)  And the idea of sharing my boyfriend with other women while on said groupdate is absurd to me.

3. When the bachelor gets down to about 4 girls they go on “hometown dates” to visit the girls’ friends/family.  My hometown in not picturesque and therefore ABC would not have any good camera shots.

2. I don’t own enough cocktail dresses.  Yeah, I would only get to like round 2 since each week ends at a cocktail party.

And without further ado, here is the number one reason why I could never be on The Bachelor….

1. Living with, while competing with, other women over the affection of a man is my version of my own personal hell!

Tell me, could you go on The Bachelor?