Vive la Tween

            After careful consideration and much inner reflection, I have finally decided to own up to something.  Brace yourself…. 

            I love tweens!

            Well, not really.  In real life, they scare the bejesus out of me.  With their attitudes, angsty-ness and sex-ting, I often thank my lucky stars I’m not a tween in this generation.

            But I love, love, love imaginary tweens!  You know, tweens starring in tween movies.   I can’t get enough of the goody-goody images of tweens before they start showing their panties and going to rehab in real life.

            I’m a huge fan of Amanda Bynes.  What a Girl Wants and Sydney White are probably two of my favorite movies of all time.  I don’t tell people this fact.  I just watch them over and over in my apartment.  Nothing compares to seeing Amanda Bynes triumph while your head is pounding from the two bottles of wine you had the night before. 

            I allow myself to get drawn into these semi-fairy tale worlds.  Find your father in What a Girl Wants, Amanda Bynes!  Find him for all of us.

And tell off that evil Queen Bee in Sydney White.  Tell her off because I couldn’t find the guts to tell off my own Queen Bee when I was in high school!

            Of course, this isn’t really about me.  Errr…

            Yes, I do know all the words to the first two High School Musical movies.  That’s right.  I do listen to some of the songs while I’m on the treadmill at the gym.  Sure, I may wonder and fret if people can hear through my earphones while Troy, Gabriella and, oh that evil, Sharpay sing.  But it doesn’t stop me.  After all, that “What Time Is It” song is quite catchy.

            I’m not going to say that I know the choreography.  But… if someone held a gun to my head, I could probably dance my way through the finale in the first movie.

            You know, or whatever….

            I’ve seen The Princess Diaries too and you know what?  I like that one too!  I will tell a stranger that I watch that movie only to see Julie Andrews, Broadway darling and Oscar winning actress.  But it’s a lie.  I watch it because it’s awesome. And because really, I want to be a princess.  (Not an “I’m in line for the throne” kind of princess but like maybe the little sister or first cousin to the princess that is going to inherit the country.)

            And if I could go back and change one thing from high school, it would certainly be to have Julie Andrews show up and tell me that I am more than just normal - I am in fact royalty.  (And someone would give me a makeover too!)

            Maybe that’s why I like the imaginary tweens.  Maybe I want to go back to my tween years?  (Oh God!)

            Is it the idea of reliving a part of my adolescence?  Probably not, since most of those movies bear little resemblance to my actual life.  I mean, hey, I would have climbed up on the cafeteria tables and sang my heart out to the star of the basketball team in a second.  I just don’t think any of the other students would have joined in.  And they certainly wouldn’t have known the choreography.

            Thinking about my middle and high schools, I could just see myself trying to pull off a box step while hoisting jazz fingers and the jaded kid sitting next to me wondering what the hell I was on.  And where he could get some.

            No, my time is past.  But sometimes, when you have a hang over and all you want to eat is Nacho Cheese Doritos and pound down some extra strength Tylenol, there is nothing like watching a tween act in a tween movie.

            Well, while wearing a tiara, of course….